I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
