you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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