I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
