so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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