she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize