Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
