i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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