Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
