I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
