Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
