i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
