I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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