'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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