put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
