i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
