So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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