the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
pray to the hookup gods
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
