Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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