My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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