Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
