My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
