Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
sex in a hospital.. check
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
