This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
