yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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