if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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