My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
