You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
