i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
