I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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