Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
