I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
