She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
