it wasn't lemon gatorade
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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