dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
