Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
