South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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