you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
