My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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