the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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