You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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