Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize