New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
