Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
