I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
