Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
