I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
