I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
