Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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