Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
