I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
