Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you traded sex for a burrito?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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