can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You were trust falling into bushes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
