My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
