I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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