It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
