I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
