It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize