we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize