There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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