Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
