he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
