So drunk its hurt
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
