WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
