just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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